Why This Exists
Hey. When I started my blog, I made a cast of characters as my third entry. However, that’s buried way back in the June 2005 archives right now, and many of the people who I reference frequently are closer to the bottom than to the top of the list. I updated it a lot, but new readers aren’t even going to know of this list’s existence. Therefore, I’m going to redo things, putting the CURRENTLY important people near the top and the people who I reference every once in a blue moon nearer to the bottom. Sort of. That was the original plan until I decided to arrange it categorically.
Once again, the majority of these are fake names, even the ones that aren’t I’m going to asterisk so as to make you think they’re fake. Didn’t do that before but I am now. If I ever use peoples’ last names, I usually do it like this: B________ or S____. First letter, blank spaces to represent however many extra letters there may be. I only do this if it sounds better when I read it to myself to have a last name there.
I'm linking this to The Mind of Genevieve and The Mind of Genevieve to this to make things easier. This isn't going to get any adds, probably just edits to entries.
Just read down, I organized it most to least important by category from top to bottom.
And a note on the aliasiifying of people: just because I give them a 'bad' name doesn't mean I don't like them. Just because I give them a 'good' name doesn't mean I DO like them. There are people who I don't like who got aliasified with names I love (Diana*, for example). There are people I DO like who got aliasified with names I hate (Brittany* and Lindsay*), or find to be only so-so (Zach* and Daisy*). There are those I gave completely bizzare names to (Lulu*, Adelaide*, Ferdinand*, Wolfgang*). Then there are people I hate who get names I hate (Gillian*, Andrew*) and people I like who get names I like (Nadia*, Idina*). Then, there are those who I used to like and got a 'good' name because of it (Bianca*) but who I despise now, and those I used to like but got a bizarre/bad name (Melvin*) and who I despise now. People get the aliases they get for various reasons, including but not limited to:
a. it has something to do with their real name (Daisy*, Catherine*, William*, Anton*, Shannon*, among MANY others)
b. it's the same name as someone who they look or act like (Zach*, Idina*)
c. it's the name of a band I happen to like/happened to use to like (Melvin*)
d. it's the name of a character in a story I'm basing on them/the Americanized version of such a name (Bianca*, Carrie*, Nadia*)
e. I don't like them and it ends with 'ew' (Andrew*)
f. I'm thinking in Shakespearean (Ferdinand* and Miranda*)
g. their name is a particular nationality/they look like THEY are a particular nationality, and I want to honor that (Adelaide* and Wolfgang*, among others)
h. I'm reading a book that takes place in a particular place, they're from said place, and I want to name them after a character in the book (Liana*)
i. I'm listening to Rent (Roger*)
j. They chose the name themselves or had someone else choose it for them (Jenna* and Kental*)
...and SO many others....
Edit 9/1/08:
Since I have began blogging at UneFemmePlusCourageuse for political blogging, I have linked this here as well. However, I will be changing it around a bit, maybe. Not right now, it's too late at night and I need sleep. But maybe some other day. I want to provide references for the Me-ness: ie, what the fuck is Remainder Time, what does being 'Biancally Inclined' mean, why are sapphires evil (though I think I covered that one), do you really get altitude sickness, what's with all the made-up holidays? These and others...
Anyway, let’s begin.
ZARGG
ZARGG, as I call them privately (my gang):
Zach*: My boyfriend. He’s six-foot-eight, Jewish, dark-haired, and, of course, he has a big nose. I find big noses to be incredibly attractive. I met him on October 28th 2005 through Melvin*, who was my boyfriend at the time. I thought he was sexy from the start mainly because of his giant nose and because at first he reminded me of this guy Jean* I used to know. We started dating in January after Melvin* told me he was joining the air force and had flunked out of school purposefully. (Here's the chronicle of our first date. He’s sexy, smart in a way that isn’t immediately evident, incredibly genuine, and he has the craziest sense of humour. Things have been really good so far for us, and we’re currently cohabitating on weekends at his apartment in Kent. (Ja, ich bin in Liebe)
Update 6/17/08: While we broke up for a bit in April, we're back together now. And things are slightly crazy sometimes, but all in all it'll be okay.
Roger*: Zach’s* closest friend. The catalyst of this new relationship. It was if he sensed all along that Melvin* was not the right one for me and decided to help Zach* and I along as best as he could... which was exactly what we needed. He’s incredibly crazy and sexual though. He also has either had the most fascinating and full life out of any person on the planet or he's lying about nearly everything he's said he's done. He's only twenty, keep in mind. Basically refuses to go out and find a normal job because he wants one that both benefits mankind and gives him job benefits. Neither Zach* nor I like this ashe and Georgia* are currently living in one of their friends' dorm rooms illegally.
Georgia*: Roger’s* girlfriend, although she also has a girlfriend. She loves stuffed animals and real animals, especially of the canine/lupine variety. She DOES have a normal job, working where Zach* himself works. Zach's* basically her boss now that he got promoted to manager. She's essentially making the right choices as far as work and money goes... but if she and Roger* were ever to break up... she'd be in a pretty tough spot. Apparently, she lacks the ability to drive.
Roger* and Georgia* lived in Dayt. all summer but are now back, living with some other friends of theirs and looking for jobs. They’re also fixing up a trailer to live in. They’re engaged.
Update 2/4/07: I don't know what happened to the trailer, but it doesn't seem to exist anymore. I worry about the two of them.
Update 4/20/07: they have had their own apartment since March. It's two-bedroom, though I don't know why. It's a nice place, but now Roger* doesn't have a job, so they think they might lose it. Once again, I worry about them. Also, Roger* apparently wants five children.
Update 4/23/07: Georgia* has baby spiders in her closet. She's not sure if she should tell Roger* or not. Georgia*, unlike me, likes spiders, but Roger's* afraid they'll crawl into his mouth when he's sleeping.
Update 9/13/07: Georgia* and Roger* have broken up but are still living together/sleeping together/casually dating. I really hope things work out for them. Why did they break up? Because Georgia* apparently wasn't over things from her past. I've talked to Roger* since the breakup but not to Georgia*. I want the full story. Also, Roger* doesn't have a job anymore and lost it because his bosses were arssholes. Need I say again that I worry about them?
Update 11/28/07: They're back together. As far as I know Roger* now has a job and Georgia* now doesn't.
Allison*: Georgia’s* girlfriend, I haven’t seen her since March but she was cool. Really shouldn’t be so high on the list but she fits with the ZRG thing (therefore making it ZARG, and with me, ZARGG)
Kyong-Soon: Zach’s* Kia Amanti, Bjorn’s ‘mate’. (Because Bjorn has to have a mate)
update 9/13/07: Does this make her Iorek's mum? Does this make her a widow? Makes sense, as Iorek is a Saab like Bjorn, but is silver like Kyong-Soon, and has Korean tires.
Xander: Zach's* Xbox 360.
Benjamin and Odin: my laptop and Georgia's* laptop, respectively.
And of course, me... but you already see the description of me. For even more of an idea of what I like, read this.
Family Members and Daisy*
Family and Daisy*:
Jenna*: older of my two younger sisters. She’s seventeen, a Buddhist, and is pretty insane. The first person in my immediate family to decide they weren’t Catholic, making me the second. We get along extremely well, and have gotten along even better than usual since… well, since I broke up with Melvin*, really, which is odd and I’m not sure if the two things are related or if it just happened like that. Anyway, though, that’s her. Jenna’s* now writing directing a movie—Wodingos. Me, Zach*, Daisy*, and a bunch of other people all have roles in it.
Catherine*: my youngest sister. She’s adopted from China, therefore making me have a reason to get REALLY pissed off at racists (such as the one across the hall. More about her later.) She used to be really annoying and bratty but has been getting less so lately, probably because she’s actually beginning to act like an eleven-year-old rather than a five-year-old. In the past year, Catherine* has taken up playing the clarinet and has improved her piano-playing skills. She enjoys playing ‘Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel’ whenever Zach* comes over. It is embarrassing. Although it did get him talking about his family Chanukah celebrations once.
edit 1/15/08: has been twelve since August. Acts like a pre-teen. I refuse to say tween.
my parents. Mutti and Vati. Not much to say about them right now. If I reference them, I reference them, but it’s very rare that I do.
Bjorn: Bjorn is my car. Actually my dad’s car, but I drove him during my senior year and the summers before and after it. Can’t have a car in college, but he’s my baby and still will be during winter holidays and next summer. He’s a Saab, therefore Swedish, therefore Bjorn. He’s an awesome little car.
update 7/31/07: Bjorn is no longer with us as he was hit by the Stupid Fat Woman on 7/23/07. Very, very saddening.
Iorek Bjornsen: my new car, Bjorn's 'son.' Iorek is a silver 2005 Saab 9-3 Aero. Very cute and sporty, slightly smaller than Bjorn. I like him, what can I say?
Ivan the Beast: my mom’s minivan. He was given that name when on Skills Weekend for Driver’s Ed last year he was the biggest car there. And I was one of the smallest people. He’s a Chrysler.
Johann Boris: my dad’s BMV convertible, his summer car. He would never in a million years let me drive that car.
Roland: my dad’s BMW 530XI sedan. He bought him the day I realized I was developing feelings for Zach*.
Ed II: my dead suckermouth catfish. Big, lazy, fish- the aquatic version of Zach*. And he’s dead.
Ed III: my new suckermouth catfish, purchased on 12/6/05. Now (5/23/06) is about the size of Ed II.
Teddy: Jenna’s* hamster. Zach* and I were in my basement once and he just became fascinated playing with Teddy. Very odd, seeing the tallest guy I know enthralled by such a tiny thing.
California relatives. An evangelical aunt, anti-religion uncle, Catholic grandparents, the whole kit and caboodle.
Cousin Jason*: originally from the Columbo-Lumbo burbs, he now lives in CuyFal. He’s dating a former ballerina. He’s a high school/college football player, and he’s in a band. I wish I could name it here but I am an anonymous moose and therefore I can’t. Anyway, he’s awesome. We have mostly the same taste in music and movies, which is a good thing since that means he can buy me CDs for things like Christmas/Chanukah and Graduation and I’m almost guaranteed to like it. That’s how I discovered the Arcade Fire, Death Cab, Bloc Party, and Aqualung, and I’m the better for it. (Just realized that those four bands strung all together like that sound extremely dangerous.)
edit 1/15/08: Now lives on the west side of Cleveland as is no longer dating the ballerina.
Daisy*: a close friend. She never calls people best friend, I’ve learned my lesson not to. But we’re close. She’s a half-year younger than Jenna* and had a crush on my friend William* for a while, therefore sitting at our table for lunch during second semester of senior year. Friendship followed quickly.
Yuki: half-computer, half-sloth. NEVER works.
edit 1/15/08: ever since FINALLY getting high-speed Internet back in August, Yuki is working faster. Who'da thunk it?
Cousin Maura*: lives in California. Made some reference to her once, decided to add her in. She's my mom's oldest sister's daughter, quite a bit older than me, we're not really that close.
edit 1/15/08: Maura* is now engaged.
Cousin Gigi*: my mom's younger sister's daughter, she's a year younger than Catherine*.
Cousin May*: the only person in my family who has ever been at the center of a political scandal, but I won't say which one.
Cousin June* and first-cousin-once-removed Marcellus*: June* is May's* sister, they're both my Mutti's oldest brother's daughters, they're both in their thirties. Marcellus* is June's* first kid, she's having another one soon.
College People
People in the Dorm (freshman year):
Idina*: a new friend. She lives down the hall from me. She’s from small-town Pennsylvania, we’re both sort of the “weird loners” on this floor, and we get along, so we’re friends. We met at summer orientation when we were assigned to be roommates from some bizarre stroke of luck. I totally needed a friend then since Bianca* and I had just had our Ultimate Indirect Confrontation (UIC, pronounced, as in the style of my invented language, “Weece”). Anyway, when I’m not lurking about my OWN room, I can be found lurking about HER room.
Lindsay*: my fish year roommate. Partyer. We got along for the most part. Lives in Pittsburgh now.
Mia*: Idina's* former roommate
Gillian*: my Indirect Enemy.
Alondra*: was friends with Idina*, then they fought
Adelaide* and Beatrice*: nicest girls in the fish year floor.
Tasha*, Lulu*, and Melinda*: other girls on the fish year floor, all pretty nice.
Chloe* (she used to live here): a friend of Idina's*. Has had a bunch of boyfriends. Don't know her very well.
Lisa*: the RA. She seems really nice, and not strict either.
Jezebel*: another RA. I couldn't stand her at first, then discovered she was okay.
Maureen* and Abigail*: were friends with Lindsay* at one point, then were not
Nan*: a girl I knew during my fish year who often annoyed me but was okay
Sean Paul*: was Lindsay's* boyfriend, they broke up
Betsy*: wears a lot of tight-fitting sweats. I don't particularly like her. Lives with Nan* now.
People in Class/Professors:
Fish year, Semester One:
Dr. Bengurion*: Psych professor.
The Sergeant: my First-year seminar professor. He teaches Military science, so my code name for him is The Sergeant, even if he's actually a Lieutenant Colonel.
Dr. Volmeraans*: English professor. She’s South African.
Dr. Hanover*: German professor.
Dr. Steinem*: Women’s history professor. Yes, her name was a total cop-out. But she’s cool. Cares about her students.
The Kristens*: two girls in my English class. I got along with them, though I don’t know why.
Arthur*: boy in my English class who always tries to talk to me.
Johnny*: another guy in my English class, everything he says seems funny (to everyone in my class) for some reason.
Marie*: a junior in my English class. She's a chem major. She's in the same group as me and the Kristens* most of the time.
Amelia*: fifth member of the English class group, she seems constantly on the edge of a nervous breakdown and skips class a lot.
Umberto*: very annoying kid who was in German class, but dropped out. Somewhat famous on the campus now.
Agatha*: stupid girl in Volmeraans' class. Thought that Shakespeare named his female characters after moons of Jupiter.
Robin*: Bostonian friend of Idina's*.
Russ*: Another friend of Robin*/Idina's*. Wants to be a priest.
Astonishingly Dim Maggie*: a girl in German class who doesn't seem to grasp certain basic concepts of the world.
Fish Year, Semester Two
Dr. Spike*: religion professor. Believes in ghosts, thinks she's interesting for being interesting.
Dr. Krug*: math professor, reminds me of my grandpa.
Dr. Walesa*: Philosophy professor and possibly caninocidal maniac. Originally from Poland.
(along with these new three, I also had Drs. Hanover* and Volmeraans* again for the continuations of their first-semester classes)
Susie*: mailroom lady.
Billy-Bob*: guy who thought a tattoo of his last name on his chest was enough of an identification to pick up a package. I am not even kidding.
Liana* and Diana*: very annoying girls from math class, possibly plagiarized, always took advantage of people.
Lance*: super-happy guy in Dr. Spike's* class with me.
Bruno*: seems to be a friend of Lance's*, also in the Judaism group.
Jeff*: friend of Idina's*
Sharon*, Karen*, and Marin*: other girls from religion class
Nadia*: lesbian Vagina Monologues director. This year's version of Olivia*.
Shannon*: Vagina Monologues castmate, we share the same politcal views (YES!)
Cora*: bearded lady in my German class.
Patricia*: super-Christian girl in religion class. Will probably annoy the fuck out of me by the end of the semester. Also known as Patricia-Faith*.
Brittany* and Amethyst*: friends of Johnny's*, now also friends of mine. In both English and Philosophy classes, and Brittany* is in Religion as well.
Peggy-Sue*: very annoying superprude. From English.
Assef*: very annoying guy who says 'murder' like 'modal' and gives off bad vibes. Religion class.
Annoyingly-Voiced Enid*: girl with an annoying voice in German class. Seems like an allright person.
Chad*: guy in religion from Geauga county who I'm sort of friends with. Multilingual.
Sanjay*: sanctimonius Indian. Would be hot if he weren't so damn sanctimonius. English class.
Clement*: guy in Math who wants to be a priest. Liana* has a crush on him.
Justin*: funny guy in Math. He says stuff other people could never get away with.
Igor*: Hungarian from German class. Astonishingly Dim Maggie* thinks he's creepy.
Andrew*: another math guy, annoying as heck, thinks he's funny but isn't.
Joanna*: Vagina Monologues castmate, feminist, starter of campus women's group
Summer*: Nadia's* girlfriend.
Sophomore Year, Semester One:
Rabbi Alderman*: a professor of mine, totally hilarious guy.
Dr. Ledger*: another professor, red hair, seems very cool, likes to fish. Interesting fashion sense.
Dr. Peters*: another likable professor, seems very nervous and forgetful and has an odd voice but I think we'll get along.
Dr. Spencer*: seemingly a very quiet lady, but I can tell that she has some quite strong opinions about things. She has the tattoo of a woman's symbol on her ankle.
Dr. Eastman*: very theatrical professor. Likes to have people shout things at each other. Messiest handwriting ever. Totally awesome, very approachable, very easy to talk to for longer than you originally intended. Likes that I'm an English major and wishes I spoke up in class more. Adores Shakespeare.
Sophie*: a girl in Dr. Ledger's* class. A fellow English major.
Ruby*: another English major AND she's in the GSA
Natasha*: a friend of Ruby's*
Kevin*: redheaded guy who sits next to me in Alderman's* class. Talks quietly. Likes math. Seems nice, seems to have a good sense of humor.
Herb*: Very short guy in Dr. Eastman's* class. His advisor is Zach's* stepmother, and now he knows this. Seems cool. One of the few Jewish people I have met my since I got here.
Audrey*: another of the campus feminists.
Cecille* and Paris*: stupid bitches in Dr. Peters'* class. The white-girl versions of Liana* and Diana*. It so figures--and of course, this time, they're in a class that I'll ACTUALLY be good in instead of just better than them in.
Chris*: Ruby's* boyfriend, goes to a different college, nice guy, rock-star-ish
Rosita*: In Dr. Spencer's* class, friends with Audrey*.
Scott*: a guy in Dr. Spencer's* class, dating Rosita*.
Gary*: In Dr. Spencer's* class, quite friendly with Ruby* and Natasha*. Gay.
Adrienne*: another friend of Ruby* and Natasha's*.
Sophomore Year, Semester Two:
Dr. Rutherford*: very old man. Can be both hilarious and boring.
Dr. Klum*: Creative writing professor. Looks younger than she is.
Dr. Cabernet*: likes cultures. Has taught and lived in multiple places. Seems very analytical, racially-ambiguous, looks taller than he is.
Eve*: a friend of Audrey's*, I got to know her a bit last year through Vagina Monologues and Take Back the Night. A dedicated campus feminist.
Renee*: I think she's somewhat conservative, but still seems nice. And weird. But you wouldn't know it to look at her.
Tierra*: a very very thin, short girl in Dr. Klum's* class. Seems like an interesting person.
Dr. Kinney*: my boss and professor. So very mellow and gentle. Sort of a male version of Nadia*.
Penny*: another friend of mine. Very very sincere. You wouldn't think we'd get along so well considering my chronic sarcasm, but we do.
Olina*: a friend of Penny's* who then became a friend of mine.
Dr. Green*: amazing woman. I've wanted to have her as a professor for so long, and now I do.
Dr. Ivy*: I've known her for a little while, she's cool, but a bunch of dudes in her class are jackasses
Dr. Lyons*: calm and mellow, and her class only has five people in it.
Dr. Williams*: poetry professor, usually funny, on the first day of class I acted totally sesquipedalian when the first word which came to my mind while improvising was "exacerbate."
Dr. Sackville*: Astronomy professor, a bit annoying.
Dr. Dunant*: Romantic lit professor. Very nice man.
Arthur*: friend, co-worker, always acts nervous.
Karl*: probably the most awesome guy on campus.
People From the Past (and sometimes present) Who I DON'T Like
People From the Past Who I DON’T like:
Melvin*: my first boyfriend, first everything. He raped me last September 18th but won’t admit to it now. In January he decided he wanted to join the air force and I left him for Zach*. (a chronicle of all of this here). Then he started dating my then-best friend and completely corrupted her into thinking he was nice and not believing a word I said. However, on Monday, September 18th, 2006, he found out that he had a heart condition that made him ineligible for the Air Force. Therefore, karma exists.
Bianca*: my best friend throughout high school. Obviously didn’t value me very much considering that she’d ignore all my advice in order to date a guy. This ended when I blogged an ultimatum because I was sick of the awkwardness and either wanted things to go back to the way they were or to not have her as a friend at all. She chose the latter, and I’m really okay with that.
The Evil Nepotist: former community theater president who was ousted from her position due to some idiotic decision making, including firing my favorite director ever.
Melvin’s* mother’s second and third husbands. I’ve never met one of them, I didn’t like the other because he was an asshole to the entire family and because of his close-minded biases.
Hugh*: rapist who I used to be friends/teammates with. My Mutti LOVED him. Then he went to college and date-raped Hank's* ex-girlfriend Nicole*.
The Cult of the Sapphire: anyone who apologizes for rapists/perpetuates lies about rape victims. For example: "she got raped because she was wearing a short skirt", "'whores' can't be raped", "more than 80% of women lie about rape"--all these people are of the Cult of the Sapphire. So are people who would say something like: "But he's such a nice guy, girls won't date him, that's why he raped her" and that sort of thing. The Cult of the Sapphire, of course, is named for the birthstone of the month in which I personally was a victim of rape back in 2005. Some might say this should be renamed "Cult of the Turquoise" since that's my rapist's actual birthstone, but I've already settled on sapphires, thank you. Usually when I either quote a member of the Cult or write about a member of the Cult, I will write in this shade of blue.
Jocelynn*: a girl who I despised in middle school
People and Teachers Who I Went to High School With
People I Went to High School With:
Anton*: one of my best guy friends. I had a crush on him for a bit sophomore year, but it would have never worked. He's the Croatian Sensation and last I knew was going to RIT and dating a girl from Canada.
William*: another of my best guy friends. He's Japanese. Can sometimes be very moody. At other times, very silly. He once dated Bianca* but they broke up because he had a lot of issues. This is probably a good thing for both of them because honestly they weren’t a good couple. He’s a quarter Japanese and has been to Japan, he was the relationship guru among our gang. He is very instinctive, much like Roger*. He identifies with the character Mark in Rent.
Carrie*: Another good friend. Very silly, plays golf. She and Anton* would have made a cute couple, but they both deny it.
die Schlangekleine: my name for the girl Melvin* had a crush on before he dated me. Throughout our relationship she made me a bit insecure because he’d sometimes act as if he still liked her.
Hank*: Melvin's best friend in high school. A big, singing football player.
Kayleigh*: Hank’s* younger sister. She was another person who I thought liked Melvin*. This caused something of a giant fight last August.
George*: Smart guy at school. Also a jerk. Smelly, has almost no friends. And he's also mean, chauvinistic, and annoying. This is what I thought for the majority of my time in high school, as he made Academic Challenge the bane of my existence. He was Bianca’s* prom date, since Melvin* doesn’t like dances. He had a crush on her for a while, and then at William's* party he wasn't being anywhere NEAR as annoying as he was for the past four years, plus at graduation he was being "the smart one" asking me and Bianca* was the capital of Turkey was, I got it right she got it wrong, and then we took the same side while she petulantly whined "Istanbul" for what seemed like the next five hours. No wonder I wrote my ultimatum.
Alyssa*: an awesome fellow flutist. She’s responsible for me meeting Bianca*, as well as some other enjoyable moments throughout high school. Also has an amazing singing voice.
Stefan*: graduated in 2004. Was one of my best friends up until then. Put him in here because he's so frickin' cool. Also lived Colloquially.
Ian*: really fat, lardy asshole. He weighed four times what Melvin* did and yet he still slammed him into lockers. Because ignorance is bliss in Ian's* mind, yet he still felt the need to look at everything and form a bunch of salacious thoughts from me and Melvin* talking. Still pisses me off.
Mr. Westford*: my senior year government teacher. I had a giant crush on him until Alyssa* told me some stuff about him doing stuff with girls right after graduation.
Mr. Beethoven*: band teacher. Older... and was my guidance counselor until he left the counseling department because he abhors paperwork. He still teaches band and music theory though, and will independently counsel people when they need it. Knows everything, yet still calls me smart.
Herr Ulm*: German teacher from high school. Anton* and I were probably the best students in the class in terms of who could actually SPEAK German, although I was a bit of a Faulenzerin in terms of doing the work on time.
Mr. Aronofsky*: Taught my senior year creative writing class. I’m trying to live the rules of Colloquium in my life now.
Mrs. Glass*(there’s a glass sitting in front of me. She needed an alias. 1+1=2): the young gym teacher who caught me and Melvin* in the secret make out place while he was trying to persuade me to have sex down there and I didn’t want to.
Edward*: I sat with him at lunch for second semester of junior year, we were already friends. We became even closer my senior year, and then on 1/26/06 after I confessed to him what Melvin* had done and what I was about to do, he told me that I should go ahead and do it because he had cheated on me when in Chicago in April/May 2005. Therefore, I’m eternally grateful to him.
Monica*: the girl Melvin* cheated on me with. Let it be known to all the world that I do not hate her. I basically like her. According to Edward*, she didn’t want it. Funny how Melvin* seems to do a LOT of things girls don’t want.
Mack*: Bianca’s* little brother. Hates Melvin*. Used to like Jenna*. They’re friends now. He’s the tallest member of my high school gang, and when he met Zach* the first thing he said was: “Where do you buy your pants?”
The Fish: another member of Mack*, Daisy*, and Jenna’s* crowd. He’s short. He got the nickname ‘Fish’ because when he and Jenna* were freshmen, I thought up ‘fish’ as a blanket term for all freshmen, he was me and Bianca’s* ‘pet freshman’ that year, and the name sort of stuck to him.
Luke*: Bianca's* boyfriend for the first half of senior year. A good guy.
Anthony*: Bianca's* boyfriend for the majority of the first half of junior year who she's tried to date again after that dissolved. HE is a REALLY good guy, and we still talk online quite a lot.
Kental*: a very good friend of Jenna's*, the two of them are taking up the old custom of keeping pet freshmen.
Nicole* and Karen*: two girls who I considered friends for a time in high school, both teammates of mine. Karen* dated Hugh* for a while. Nicole* dated Hank* for a while, then cheated on him with Hugh*, who was cheating on Karen*. Nicole* and Hugh* ended up at the same college, where he date-raped her. Karen* is not part of Sharon*, Karen*, and Marin*.
Lucy*: I went to middle school with her, but also high school...she called me a hooch and we were no longer friends and I reveled in the Schadenfreude of seeing her do poorly on math tests afterwards.
Living Guardian Angels
Mark* (the moose): Jewish violinist who graduated on June 8th, 2003. He had a big nose and liked biology. I had a crush on him. Out of all my unrequited crushes, I regret liking him the least. Or not at all, really. If it hadn't been for him I wouldn't've met Melvin*, and not meeting Melvin*=not meeting Zach*. Plus he gave me a lot to think about. His curse days are May 5th (Cinco de Mayo) and 12th (Moose Day). They tend to be very happy days.
Jean* (the grasshopper): pronounce it the French way. This is a guy. Another ex-crush. He played the flute and the piccolo, and came to me in a dream telling me to take up piccolo in October 2004. So I did. He graduated the same day as Mark, and they were best friends. I feel some regret about liking him-- I was such a fool, writing him sappy love poems, and then realizing I might have never really loved him. Bianca* also liked him for a little while, when I was over him and onto other people. His curse days are August 26th (his birthday) and October 28th (Hot Piccolo Guy Curse Day), and December 9th (Grasshopper Day), and they tend to be more… effective… than Mark’s*, in a not-so-easy way.
People From 'Other Places'*
People from ‘Other Places’
Relicmen 1 and 2: I had a crush on Relicman 1 from the end of eighth grade through the beginning of sophomore year with a two-month lapse freshman year when I decided to focus exclusively on Mark*. I went to visit him at college with my dad, and he talked to my dad while ignoring me all through dinner, causing me to hate him for a while. I’ve basically forgiven him now, but I’d still rather have Zach* around if I ever see him again. Referred to together as 'The Relicmen'
April* and her brother Patrick*: I met them through a drama camp run by Nick*. They were his co-directors. April* is one of the coolest girls ever.
Drama Roger*: different from the ZARGG Roger*. He was the first one to get the alias of Roger*, though, so he’s keeping it, since there’s no way he’s gonna get referenced as much as the ZARGG Roger*, if at all. I met him through April* and Patrick* during the early months of my relationship with Melvin*. He was at least 22 then, and I had a crush on him, we flirted, but nothing more. The first “drain on my defenses” as the Shins would say.
People from Work: ‘Work’ was/is a downtown Ak law firm, and I never aliasified anyone there. I’d have to aliasify a million people if I did that now, and since I’m not working there now and won’t be until December or May, I’ll worry about that then. For now, if I reference ‘Hot Lawyer’, ‘Favorite Secretary’ or ‘Drunk Former Paralegal’, or anything else that sounds like that, I’m talking about these people.
Rachel*: one of my fellow messengers. She goes to UA, and her story of her ex-boyfriend sounds creepily like the story of me and Melvin*... except I don't know if they had sex ever.
Judy*: the other law firm messenger friend. She's engaged. Very hilarious and open, and were it not for her, Rachel* and I might have never become friends due to our combined introversion.
Kate*: new messenger. Cool. Reminds me of Zach's* oldest stepsister. Guess it doesn't really matter if I think she's cool or not, as she's not going to be here after Friday, May 25th, 2007.
Kira*: another new messenger. Friend of Rachel* and Judy's* from WAY back. Also very cool. Swears a LOT.
Louise*: third new messenger. I met her for a bit last summer, as she was my 'replacement.' Now I'm back as Kate's* replacement, so I get to know her...and I'm not so sure I like her. She sometimes seems abrasive and humourless.
Anna*: another co-worker, closer to my parents' age. Just got married.
Olivia*: an artist who worked at the magazine I interned at in May. I assumed she was a lesbian for some reason and therefore had a dream about her.
Veronica*: Zach's* ex. I didn't even know her name until the first time we went out, before that he had always just referred to her as "my girlfriend", which for a while led me to hopefully doubting her existance, but I soon gave that up. She was STILL his girlfriend when we started dating, but only for the first few days. Apparently she was annoying.
Kim* and Louis*: two annoying friends of Melvin’s*. I met them when I met Zach* and Roger*, but I didn’tlike them nearly as much. They’re just… annoying, Kim* more so than Louis*. Moved here on 3/13/07 from the 'People From the Past Who I DON'T Like' list after seeing Kim* a few times and realizing that she didn't really bother me anymore.
Ferdinand* and Miranda* (yes, named after the couple in The Tempest): married couple in the D&D group, they both often DM. Miranda's* very kind. Ferdinand*, on the other hand...has a tendency to annoy me, both with his facial tics and voice as well as with his overseriousness. However, on 9/14/07, he was getting pissed at Melvin* for skipping with no notice, and has a 'rule' about that sort of behaviour, so...yay. Made me happy-dance, that's for sure. However, as of 9/22, I have officially decided that I DO NOT like Ferdinand* as he is an enabler of people like Wayne* as well as a sexist control-freak. He probably has never felt in power in his life, and still feels threatened enough by this powerless past that now when assuming a leadership role, has taken a laissez-faire attitude towards people he feels he could not control (guys), while simultaneously being over-controlling to those he feels he can be so to (girls.)
Tiffany*: sort of annoying girl in D&D group who when not annoying me reminds me enough of Daisy* to be endearing.
Wolfgang*: guy who sometimes hangs out with the D&D group. Pretty cool, reminds me a bit of Roger* at least looks-wise, my first thought upon meeting him was: "Is he German?" which is why I called him Wolfgang*, even though his real name is quite American.
Asher*: another guy in the D&D group--seems to get along quite well with Zach* AND Tiffany*.
Dr. Lahiri*: my opthamalogist. She's been my opthamalogist since Friday, January 28th, 2005. Before I had my first appointment with her, I had a dream where a doctor told me I had only six months to live, which made me VERY apprehensive about my appointment. She ended up prescribing me the drug that would put my blepharitis/allergies permanently at bay. She's also very nice. Therefore, awesome.
Jacob*, Aaron*, and Martha*: three people I was in an after-school mother-organized playgroup with in kindergarten. I despised Jacob*.
Wayne*: annoying as all hell. Another member of the D&D group, specifically Kim's* campaign.
Update 10/13/07: sexist rape apologist arsshole who can't sing worth crap and doesn't have a bone of originality in his body. No wonder no one likes him.
Nevin*: Tiffany's* younger brother.
Abraham: the rental Ford Fusion I drove for a week between The Stupid Fat Woman killing Bjorn and buying Iorek.
Julie E. Washington: this is a real person, no alias needed. She's a 'writer' for the Plain Dealer, and I have some major beef with her. Why do I have this beef? Because she's a writer who cannot write. And, this might sound odd, but--I believe if you're going to get paid for writing, you should be able to do so. Hence, why it is my mission to ridicule her.
William E. Horner: the guy who people call me frequently asking to talk to. Before, Ilaughed it off, but now I'm just annoyed and pissed. Now, I want to systematically ruin his life via my cell phone.
Mrs. Sid*: One of my new bosses at my on-campus job. Why do I call her Mrs. Sid*? Because she talks like Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Seems nice even if her voice DOES annoy me. Very short. added 9/27/07: TOTAL COMPLETE IDIOT.
added 1/15/08: She is no longer my boss, THANK GOD.
Dr. Cantor*: My OTHER boss, the big boss, also Mrs. Sid's* boss. Department head. Older woman, also very nice, seems to have back problems. I call her Dr. Cantor* because she looks like an older version of the cantor who performed Zach's* dad and stepmom's wedding ceremony.
added 1/15/08: she is also no longer my boss, but I am not nearly so relieved about this. I liked Dr. Cantor*.
Emilia*: my counselor/therapist person. Counseling me BECAUSE...well, if you need to ask, you really don't read my blog very often.
Sister Virgo*: New boss. Yes, she's a member of a Catholic religious order, though 'sister' isn't what she goes by and I'm not sure if it's proper to call her a 'nun' or not. But the 'sister' will help in aliasifying things, eh? As for the Virgo--not sure if she IS a Virgo (and I'm speaking astrologically here, so NO dirty thoughts BITTE!). But she sure as hell acts like one--very organized, attention-to-detail...makes me want to laugh at how very Virgo she is. Unlike Mrs. Sid*, though--she is damn smart. In fact...Mrs. Sid* was an ugly moronic midget. Sister Virgo* is an extremely attractive extremely smart woman of above average height (not as tall as me, but not short). Completely in control and always knows everything. Can be abrasive and irritating.
Shelley*, Katrina*, Monique*, and Ruth*: Four girls who I considered friends in middle school, some of whom I'm still in contact with. Read about them here.
Yaya*: New co-worker. Nice girl. Can laugh at Virgo antics.
Gerda* and Kai*: friends of Zach's*, he met Gerda* through work, Kai's* her boyfriend. Basically cool people, live in the middle of nowhere.
Marta Saenz de Aguilera: Horrible manipulative troll.
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